Sunday, November 19, 2006

The men I slept with were good

The men I slept with were good
with electronic devices. Troy jiggled
the wire antenna before he came
to bed, and my radio clock sang.
Ren downloaded the latest virus
protection program to my laptop
while massaging my anus. After Nick
climaxed, he showed me how to text-
message and shook his head, laughing
over my primitive cellphone. So
when I message some man whose eyes
sang last night while I jiggled him,
I think of Nick and his tremendous
laugh, and thank in my heart these handy men.



I admire this poem for its balance of humor, sex, and heart. Well done friend.

Larry said...


Lotsa fun here. Probably carried the pun line-ends a bit too far. And you make me feel prudish sometimes with your unashamed exposure, but I also wonder if less-explicit language could achieve more with less risk of alienating the timid reader, since the liberating effect of frankness should be secondary to the general achievement of the poem. Could be I'm wrong there; it seems to me that the in-your-face sexual content is more in place in a different sort of poem, while this poem goes for humor and some good-natured affection, and the sex kind of overshadows it.

On a more technical level: dowloading while massaging your anus? I don't buy it. Massaging your arm, shoulder, neck - could be.

This isn't set well gramatically:

when I message some man whose eyes
sang last night while I jiggled him

Otherwise - nice poem.


Jee Leong Koh said...

Hi Brent,
I'm glad you like the poem. I will be revisiting your blog, I'm sure.

Hi Larry,
you are probably right about that awkward sentence. Will tinker with that. Thanks again, Larry!

Jee Leong


Sorry to Larry, I thought the juxtaposition between what was being downloaded and what was being massaged was pretty damn funny, lending a second touching humor to the close "I thank in my heart these handy men."

And it's the awkward honest exposure I've never attempted as a queer writer that struck me too.

Jee Leong, will you email me? I don't know how to reach you outside of comments. Thanks.

Jee Leong Koh said...

Hi Brent,
thanks for coming back to this again! Cheers!

Jee Leong