Wednesday, April 11, 2007

13. Temples, Forehead, Chin

When I was committed to military service, I learned
the forehead, temples, flanks and back of the skull cap
are made for gripping a steel helmet in place,
and the chin is made for a chin-strap;

I learned the elbows are bipods for a semi-automatic rifle,
the hollow between deltoid and breast
is a cushion for the wooden butt and its sharp rebuke,
and the eye sees accurately through the rifle sight;

and, if you are right handed,
your left hand is a flat support for the hand-guard,
and the pointer of your right hand curls
round the trigger snugly.

When I was committed to military service,
I learned the body is not a book to be read discriminately
but a weapon to be finely calibrated, and fired
while holding my breath.

Plan for this poem-in-progress


Anonymous said...

jee, i love your poems. However, i would love it if you would give me some advice on mine:

Does this darkness have a name?
Is i anquish, grif or strife?
Or do those qualities among others spell out darkness.
Does this darkness have a name?
Is it the sound of the gunshot when penetrating an innocent bone?
Is it the man who pulled the trigger with the red hand?
Or is it the being who fell to the ground never to rise: body broken?
We think our every day problems are such pain, such intollerable conflict,
whild right infront of us darkness really is taking form.
Does this darkness have a name?
Is it your name?

Jee Leong Koh said...

Hi Anon, thanks for your kind comment on my poems. If you want to receive a lot of useful feedback on your writing, may I suggest the online poetry workshop, Poetry-Free-For-All? The participants there are serious about improving their writing and give generously of their time and thought to helping each other by critiquing poems. The address is: Thanks again for stopping by.

Jee Leong

Anonymous said...

but Jee, i would apreciate if you could at least say a sentence on what you thought of my poem. Please do comment on it!!!!!!!!

red said...

very descriptive! it almost brought me to another world..

Anonymous said...

thanks so much Red!!! can you comment more on my poem? i might put up another short one or two please comment i really need feedback!!! but thank you so much for the comment before i really really apreciate it!!!!!